Progress (noun): 1. Forward or onward movement toward a destination 2. Advance or development toward a better, more complete, or more modern condition 3. A state journey or official tour, esp. by royalty.
Hello boys,It's been 24 hours since we parted ways once more, and the time we spent together last night Progressing, couldn't have been more different to when we did it in Manchester a few weeks ago. If Manchester felt like goodbye, then Glasgow was hello, again.
This is my letter to you - Howard, Mark, Gary, Rob and Jason; Take That - it's about you, and me, and a journey. It's about Progress and everything that has gone before. It's about not knowing what is coming next.
Where to begin? Well, probably with a thank you, a couple of them in fact. Thank you for the last twenty years, it has been an absolute blast taking a parallel path to you on this trip. It means different things to you than it does to me, this journey, but we've all made it apart but together.
And thank you for Progress. It's been a long time coming, and I've got to admit it didn't make sense to me until last night. Something clicked. With you, and in me. You were so high, and so were the crowd, I let myself be carried and it felt...right. Utterly, utterly right for us all to be there...the five of you, the 49,000 of us, me.
Everything was mental from the minute you appeared on stage. Right there in front of me. Life size. Blazing. Moment after moment after glorious moment of magic. My heart soared as we all sang every word with you, as what those songs mean to me personally raced across my mind (a smile at my husband whistling Rule the World as he comes home from work; the weight of a bridesmaid dress as I dance with my closest friends to Promises at a wedding; my four year old son marching around singing Kidz loud; the radio playing The Flood as I give birth to my baby). How do I describe how that makes me feel? I don't think I can...
Taking my associations out I still felt like a wide-eyed child. My wildest storybook dreams are there in front on me...we're through the looking glass for sure. I am captivated. Excited. Unsure.
Unsure? Yes. As I say, this has been a long time coming. A few weeks ago it made no sense. In Manchester, it still felt there was a divide there. I wasn't ready even though I'd had long enough to prepare. Torn between one side and the other, it felt like being asked to join a tribe. I wanted it all, I always do.
But last night it all just made perfect sense. Alone, together, all right. Something has changed. Maybe with you, maybe with me. But I'm finally there with you. The past becomes just that.
As performers you thrill me by making the familiar totally fresh each time even though we've been meeting this way for two decades. But as happy as I am for myself that I've been treated to another amazing show I am also made up for you. Last night in Glasgow, you all looked happy and relaxed. Friends who enjoy working together. Who are bound in a unique way. I might be the other side of the barrier but I can relate.
My first look at this show left me feeling overwhelmed and yet a little disappointed. It just didn't come together for me. Lots of blinding spot pieces but no linking thread. Last night it was smooth though. It flowed, old and new side by side, palpable energy rising from crowd and stage.
A massive performance to a massive crowd and yet it still feels personal and occasionally intimate. We sing together, we laugh together.
The rift was wide and deep before - Robbie on one side seeming distant and cocky, me on the other trying to work him out. The final puzzle piece has now been placed and something has changed. No longer cocky, but just confident. A showman enjoying the adoration he incites in the crowd. I'm still unsure which one of us really went missing but I'm glad we've found a way back. I'm truly glad to have all of Take That together, each doing what they do best.
I'm sure others are still finding their way to accepting or understanding this. You boys have all had your conversations but for us it's the first time coming face to face with this new way of doing things. If I could ask one thing of them you all would be patience. Not everyone in the crowd has found a way to resolve this in their mind. I didn't feel much at all when Rob left initially other than a bit sad for the other boys, it was when he didn't come back in 2005 that it felt like a snub to us, the fans, as well as the band.
I think I got closer to letting it go. The reasons don't concern me, it was never personal. But Rob, don't single out fans for their hesitation, just be who and what you are, show them why it's so good to move on, move forward.
We make our way through the tradition of Never Forget and it's thrilling and emotional to hear Rob's vocals as they were on the album, finally live. This is the moment when all this - being a fan and being the band - really collide in music form and we all say thanks for the memories, hope for more. And then to release that final energy with a disco classic, Relight My Fire, at the feet of a robotic giant. It's crazy, and awesome, and cheeky, gorgeous, sexy, thrilling and so very very you, all of you.
Three weeks ago I thought I had to learn to let go completely, last night I realised I needed to stop trying to unravel the past and just let the moment unfold. Three weeks ago it was Take That and their fans facing off with Robbie and his across a mass of the undecided caught up in the stand-off. Last night we were all just people, performers and crowd, friends having fun. And, god, that feels good.
But it's time for our paths to unravel from each other again, I hope it is only for a while, rather than forever. You'll carry on Progressing and I will smile from the sidelines, filled with fondness for five men I've never really met.
It really has been a pleasure, from the moment I first saw you smiling from the pages of Smash Hits through the misadventures I had with my school friends chasing the TT dream all the way through to standing side by side with those same friends as you shook our hands as this show closed.
I hope this isn't goodbye, but for now, with love,
Sx
Words - Manchester 4 June; Progress (album); Thatter exhibition.
Pictures - Progress Manchester Part One and Part Two; Progress Glasgow
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