Letter to my younger self

Hello you!

This is me. I mean you. I mean us. Look, it is me and I am you, just older. Alright? Anyway, we don't really need to dwell on that. Let's just say you might want to read this as I think I know a few things that might confort or help you.

Before we start I may as well say I can't tell you the winning lottery numbers or deliver you an almanac as that may change the future and then I might not be here or whatever to give you the info. Basically I'm too worried about causing a paradox to do any of that...although that's something that hasn't changed - my understanding of the space time continuum and paradox is still based on Back to the Future 1, 2 and 3.

What I can tell you are some little things which I know now because I'm older. If you knew them before you go through the things you're going to go through it might make all the difference to your sanity and happiness.

Ok - so in a format I know you'll understand (and be assured this format never gets old):

Top Five Things To Help You Grow Into Being Me

1. Yes, it is love. Yes, you should tell him. Yes, brace yourself because you know it's going to hurt just not for the reasons you think it is. But he's still here, and it's still love. So stick with it even when you think it's an endgame and everything is against you and things will never be the same again. They won't but you don't need to be as frightened of that as you think. Top tip - the cola flavoured lip balm isn't as crazy and you think it is.
   
   
2. You're not just fat so don't let anyone dismiss you with that. I can't stress enough how much that is a battle you need to keep fighting. Don't accept your lot in life. You know what I mean already but believe me, a couple of years from now you need to really hang onto this. But remember, I'm still here. Although now I am just fat.
   
   
3. You don't have to get through everything as fast as possible, slow down, enjoy. Get off the pill, that will free you from your binds and you'll see that things aren't so bleak after all. Don't worry that you might miss something if you don't do it now. It'll all come right.
   
   
4. It's true - what's for you, won't pass you by. The things you want will come from unexpected angles is all.
   
   
5. Get that wedding dress you really wanted. You will be thin enough to wear it after all.

So, there you go, some bits of advice I wish my future self had sent me when I was your age. I can't keep in touch though so if you need more guidance or your moral compass is out of whack refer to this top five (you may have to wait a few years for some of them though).

Everything you thought you knew about yourself is true. Just calm it down and smile more. Everything is going to be alright mei mei.

All my love,
Your thirty-year-old self.

PS.

• Mum is wrong about the ear piercing. It is fine, they won't stretch into massive holes with lobes on your shoulders. Honest.
• Everything you need to know is contained in the lyrics to The Fountainhead by The Bluetones.
• You're in LA at the moment. I'm still paying for that trip. Make more of it.
• The future me hasn't written yet to re-assure me. I have no idea what the future holds beyond this point.
• I could tell you what is going to happen to online but you wouldn't believe it. It's in line but beyond our wildest dreams and getting better all the time. Don't stop talking online or meeting people - eventually you won't be seen as a freak for this.
• You think you don't care right now but the boys are coming back. Stop referring to them as 'your dirty little secret' and embrace that part of your life. They and the people you associate with them are going to bring you so much happiness!
• Try harder to keep track of your ID bracelet and magic beads. I miss them now they're gone.
  

Sx