Top five: reasons why I can't get no sleep

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Putting the fairly obvious illness and the ever present mind-spinning effect of everyday life viewed through the too-early-o-clock lens here are the top five reasons insomnia gripped my feeble brain last night.

1. "Wouldn't it be nicer if coke came in another colour? Any colour really. Just not brown. Maybe clear. Clear would be great. All the same taste but none of the brown colour." Internal conversation halted after around 13 minutes due to realising I'd re-invented the failed '80s drink TabClear.
2. Around 47 minutes worrying about how my son will settle in at school. Son not due to start school until September 2011 so feel there is some distance left to run in this one over next few years of insomnia.
3. "What's that noise? Is that a tapping noise? Am I making that noise? Hold breath. Chest hurts. Breath normally. Noise gone. What's that noise? Is that the same noise?" The default cycle for when the rest of the madness is fading into background.
4. Am I more scared of spiders, crabs or octopi (new entry)? I would have to say the octopus right now. It's the slipperyness of them. And the fact that I have invented them the power to be able to suck you to them across a vast distance with all-powerful suckers on their super-long tentacles. Yes. I have made octupi the most scary through my sheer ignorance. Well done me.
5. Wouldn't it be cool / mortifying to be in the new Blur film? I mean, I was front rowish at Hyde Park so possible. However thinking mosh death not going to be best look ever for cinematic debut. Would it be better for Damon's leg to block my face a la Sunday Times pic or to be there in all my moshed out glory?

So, in not thinking about the things that were really keeping me from sweet slumber my brain belmed out a whole host of other madness...