The greater good

I didn't think I would ever find myself in a position where I would put the needs, the rights, of people I don't know before what is good solely for myself. But here I am...

It may be on a small scale and it may be relatively unimportant in the grand scheme of things but the most troubling aspect right now is that we're not doing the best thing for the people we are supposed to be doing the right thing for. I talk, of course, of work.

The saga continues, later each day, all of us less happy to varying degrees and for disparate reasons. Finger pointing may be about to start. And I don't really care for any of that. I'm just really, really bothered we aren't doing the right thing. We're doing the easy thing, or the greedy thing, or the stupid thing, or just anything but the right thing. And it bothers me. More than it ever has before.

Why do I care what service we offer? Why should I care whether we're doing our best for people or not? Maybe because on the flip side of the coin I am one of those people and it pains me to know that I am letting myself down. But I can't turn it all round on my own...

I'm not the only one feeling like this. But we're kinda stuck and no-one wants to admit that the best way out of this dead end is to do a u-ee. Does it matter if we have to admit we were wrong? Is continuing to pretend we were right better?

It would be easier if I didn't believe in what I did. That I didn't have faith in the machine and the possibilities. Yes, truly my belief lies in the possibilities. It would be easier if I could turn in each day, do a job - good or bad - and leave not caring whether I had done it right or not. Never mind whether my reasons for doing it were right or not.

And yet, here I am, caring more for what would be right for strangers before what is materially best for me....